President of the Christmas Association

I love the South's intense efforts to convince you that it is Christmas.

I have developed a rule. It is not Christmas unless there is snow on the ground. If you do not have snow on the ground than you can only celebrate Consumer day.

I remember as a lifeguard celebrating "Christmas in July". It was the pool committees annual tradition. The pool commitee was made of pool members that came home from work and said I want to be involved in my local summer pool.

...Did I say involved...I meant obsessed. These are people who have obviously never had power in their lives. They work in environments where they have no employee rights. No HR department.

It was insane how serious they take it. Then I bought a home and met the home association overlords. Same people. I could not imaging returning home from work and saying...Isadora I am going to drive around the neighborhood and make sure everyone has put up their Christmas lights according to section 3.23.394.

I need to start a Christmas association where I can determine what latitudes are allowed to celebrate Christmas. I will come home from work, check the projected snowfall of North America then post the latitudes on my blog.