Ok I am back!

Sorry about that. I started focusing on making money and building a website. Then I was moved to another section of the building...so I didn't have to deal with Snake and Fugly anymore. Life is ok. I want to be promoted in this company. What I am currently doing is boring and beneath me. Falling asleep. Hard to get motivated.

I was sick for three weeks with a cough which shutdown me and my excercise routine. I watched 38 episodes of Heroes online with Netflix. Love that show! I ordered a Roku which is supposed to show up today! Can't friggin' wait!! WHERE ARE YOU FEDEX DUDE!! We a Roku you can watch the NetFlix instant movies...of which I have acquired 263 in my queue. Alot of great foreign films. You can also rent new releases from Amazon on the Roku. COME ON FEDEX GUY!!!

I started and am still drinking...pretty much switched to Decaffeinated...finally realized it was the taste and the comfort of coffee I liked. The mood swings and energy plummet...I can do without. Nice to be in control of my paranoia and anger.

Darryl is in Rookie level little league baseball where we use a pitching machine.....yeah...ummm...Darryl sucks currently. But he will get better. He always does. All about forcing him outside to practice.

I am the coach. I yell and jump and wave my arms. The kids and parents like it....Isadora is horrified. I am obnoxious...but entertaining. With 5 year olds and baseball you have to keep them entertained...otherwise they fall asleep.

We finally got a new manager. Snake was passed over. Probably because of our infighting. Pissed her off. I don't give a fuck.

Our new manager is a Green eyed Arab...Gea. Gea is nice and calm. I told him to keep those two idiots away from me or I want out of the group. They don't come near me.

New jobs are opening. I am going to apply. Man, people have the MOST FRIGGIN' INCREDIBLE resume templates out there. I love them. I am going to use one of them. That will get their attention.

5 Compliments Every Woman Loves To Hear

1.You’re Irreplaceable. This is a surfire way to light up your parnter’s eyes. Saying these words (with full eye contact, of course) lets the special one in your life know that you know who she is as a person and that you value her as a unique individual. Why is this so effective? Think about when you break up with someone and part ways. One of the worst ramifications of the break-up is finding out, via Facebook update or chattering among friends, that you've been replaced by someone new. On the flip side, hearing from your current partner that you're valued for more than what you look like scores big, meaningful points.

2. You bring light to my life. Yes, we know this sounds like a bit much. But bear with us and let us make one point: realtionships can go off course when one or both partners takes for granted the contributions the other makes to their lives. Saying this shows that a man understands and remembers that a women chooses to be with her man and opts to give her energy and time to him. Showing he appreciates that she shares her life with him is symphonic to a woman's ears. If the word light is a tad too over-the-top for you try replacing it with happiness, joy, sunshine—whichever word you can say with genuine meaning.

3. You are perfect just the way that you are. This one takes the gold star award for ability to make a woman’s day, week, month or even year (if, that is, whenever she gets miffed at you for something small she recalls you saying this to her). Ingrid Michealson sang it best with her lyrics to the song “Just the Way that I Am.” If you really want to make your partner’s day, we suggest e-mailing this song or utube video to the woman you love. Deep, lasting love is unconditional. Showing that you comprehend and embrace this idea will touch your partner way more than surfacey comments such as “Your earrings are cute.”

4. I love your (fill in the blank: bright eyes, cute toes, toned arms, sleek legs, silky hair). We did not mean to give the impression above that we women do not like to hear you notice when we put exra effort into looking foxy for our man. But what’s key here is that what you say is genuine. Don’t just pick any random feature. Think about it. What is your partner’s best physical atribute and why do you like it? Telling your partner this will show her you pay attenion to details, and to her.

5. I am so proud of you. A big deal-breaker in any relationship can be supporting one another’s life goals or not. Paying attention to your partner’s current goals she is working hard to achieve endear her to you for life. Whether it is paying off her credit card debt, completing a class, putting in extra hours to earn a promotion or even trying to better balance her life, show your loving support for your women. Her heart will melt then and every time thereafter she remembers when you supported along the way to making things happen and brushing off when the chips are down.

VBS Service

We went to church on Sunday. The church that Darryl attended for Day school had a vacation bible school summer camp. Isadora volunteered at it. They both loved it. Well...Isadora LOVED IT! I think the Mom's were like a gazillion more times excited about it based on their Facebook status updates. Darryl loves the music. They gave him a CD. "I'm a friend of God..I'm a friend of GOoooooOOD!" Kinda getting sick of it.

They had a service for the VBS kids and parents. The kids all got up on stage and danced to the VBS songs and videos. Kinda cute. Isadora always complains about lip syncing....HEY LOOK HONEY!

Ok, I need to work. I didn't do much blogging this weekend. Kinda burned out

Isadora doesn't get it!

Isadora looked at my web history and found my porn links. Oy. I thought it was going to be a long evening of her yelling at me. But she didn't. Unfortunately, I think she I look at it for the wrong reason. She is very pretty and has a hot body. But she hates sex! On Friday, Oprah was showing everyone how to find their G-Spots...which requires you to enter your fingers into your vagina and rub the upper wall of your vagina around the bend.

1) Isadora didn't know where the G-Spot was....I know where a woman's G-Spot is.

2) Isadora thinks the idea of putting her fingers up her vagina is disgusting.....I used to love putting my fingers up a girl's vagina.

The girls in porn are not as pretty as Isadora but they look like they are having FUN!

So Isadora announced last night that she is going to start training for the 1/2 marathon. ISADORA! NO! How about getting an interest in sex!

Even her friend Crissy is hinting for her to enjoy an alcoholic beverage with her. Crissy brews her own beer with her husband! Some might find Crissy pretty. She is definitely in shape. She is sweet and nice. Alcohol will not lead to the devil!! Isadora needs to lighten up.

Yesterday driving to church...omigod! Watch out! How fast are you going!!

....I have never been in an accident...ever!

It is very hard being on Lexapro...when the other person is not on Lexapro.

A perfect day

A perfect day would be:

1. 4:00 am wake up
2. 5:00 am swim for an hour
3. 7:00 am show up for work
4. 11:00 am go to gym
5. 12:30 pm return from gym
6. 4:30 pm go home
7. 5:30 pm play with Darryl
8. 7:00 pm practice reading with Darryl
9. 8:00 pm go to bed
   

Darryl/ Health/ Work all in one day!

Wednesdays and Saturday nights would be foot massage night

Friday would be Dumpling King/Ragin Cagin night.

How do you acheive balance in your life?

Today is indoor day. Darryl has conjunctivitis. We had a shower together last night to wash his eyes out. Then I applied drops before he fell asleep in Isadora's lap. He is so brave. He lied on his bed and let me drop the visine drops in his eyes. He was pretty worn down from it. He realized he wasn't going to be able to go to Carson's birthday today. Poor buddy. So today we are spending all day inside. I am working on my blackberry application. This is going to be so cool. I want to start making extra money. I want to replace my current income so I can spend all day at home. So I can be self employed and work from anywhere in the world. We have an aquintance that did this. He sold specialty car parts over the internet. The next thing you know him and his wife were traveling the world. Why not...as long as people can reach you by email/cellphone/IM.

That is my dream. 1 application that sells 10,000 copies year for $15. There are 365,000,000 in the US.

We are going to my sister's tommorrow. She is having immigration visa issues. Her fucking fiance isn't helping either...even though he is a manager at the company and works with her manager. What a dick wad. Gotta say, when Isadora lost her second job in 6 months and was beaten to a pulp self esteem wise....I picked that bitch up by the back of her shorts and kicked her out the door to get another job. If she was unemployed for 6 months, she would lose her right to work. Her Green card processing would have been terminated then she would have had to wait for me to get mine and file afterwards. She really did have an employment rough patch but she was never fired for her work or personality. Enron...out sourcing and bad business model. But in the end, it got her what she needed...the Green card. And she experienced historical events. The top of the Enron hype followed by the last days of Enron. Being part of an IT organizationt that was outsourced to India (6 months later...the company resourced the IT organization back).

I am eating these GNC Fiber soft chews....gotta say....a whole lotta fartin'...not much fecal matter dispensation....If I am going to be a fartin'....I want to be producing swirly hard logs that need to be stabbed to pieces with the toilet plunger handle.

40 Tips for Getting Along With Your Significant Other

1. Remember that one put-down can erase hours of kindness you give to your partner. Follow James Brolin’s advice: “Treat each other like eggs.”

2. It’s OK to disagree: if two people always agree, one of them isn’t necessary.

3. Compliment your partner often.

4. Develop good listening skills.

5. Keep in mind that we’re all trying to accomplish the same objectives in a relationship: acceptance, support, and affection.

6. Learn to handle conflict constructively.

7. Never say: “I told you so.”

8. Don’t take each other for granted.

9. Serve her breakfast in bed; include a long-stemmed red rose.

10. Have a sense of humor.

11. Be flexible.

12. Understand the importance of small touches and caresses.

13. Massage their feet; and give them a back rub.

14. Learn to tango.

15. Never betray their confidence.

16. Plan a lunch date.

17. Create a scrap book of your first year together.

18. Plan little surprises.

19. Keep a lock of his hair in a heart-shaped locket.

20. Flirt with each other.

21. Share the household chores.

22. Ride a bicycle built for two.

23. Never forget a single anniversary. Create a meaningful anniversary ritual.

24. Watch out for each other’s best interests.

25. Take a horse-drawn carriage ride.

26. Admit it when you’re wrong.

27. Befriend his/her friends.

28. Write each other love letters.

29. Follow William James’ advice: “The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.”

30. Make romance a habit.

31. Don’t expect perfection.

32. Share your dreams with each other.

33. Be best friends as well as lovers.

34. Hold hands.

35. Don’t interrupt each other.

36. Make lots of eye contact.

37. Make a list for them: 101 reasons why I love you.

38. Call just to say “I love you”.

39. Make your partner feel special.

40. Promise each other to grow old together. Keep your promise.

Today you suck....tomorrow you will be awesome...through practice.

Isadora and I had a blow up yesterday. Man, she completely:

1) Hates the fact that I exercise.
2) Wants me to die young.
3) Loves to find excuses to just hammer me into the ground until I snap.

I wish she would just say it once and be done with it. I do a lot more things that she asks for then she does that I ask for. Yes, the making vegetables and fruits and nuts in the morning is nice. However, she refuses to get me up early. I end up having to stay at work until 6:00 pm. I don't think she wants me home. She loves hogging Darryl. I have to demand that she stay home. Darryl is really enjoyable to be around.

Today, we are looking after Nick. The African American semi-orphan. Semi-Orphan because his mother is a prostitute for drugs kinda gal. He lives with an elderly black postal supervisor and her defunct teacher husband.

Nick has been incredibly annoying. I think he is desperate for a male role model. He seems to have chosen me. He seems to be in a constant competition with Darryl for my approval. He points out EVERYTHING that Darryl does wrong. Darryl is a hugger and hand holder, which drives Nick nuts.

Today, he wouldn't stop declaring that he was better than Darryl at EVERYTHING. I ate my rice before Darryl. I sat down on the couch better than Darryl. I looked out the window better than Darryl. It was getting absurd. Finally, I had enough. We went to swim at the pool. Little did I know that Nick was mortally terrified of the water. He whined and cried the entire swimming lesson. 45 minutes of whining and crying, while Darryl swam circles around us. Nick did good in the swimming lesson but he learned that Darryl can do things really well too.

He thanked me at the end of the swimming lesson. Funny about kids. They whine and scream the whole time you are teaching them something. But they appreciate it. They appreciate you pushing them. My father always gave up on me.

"If you want it..you will go get it." He used to say.

Well, Dad, that is a load of bullshit because how is 5 year old supposed to figure out how to swim, play football, baseball, soccer, hockey by himself. All he did was spend the weekends and evenings watching sports or listening to music. He never taught me shit. Even though he was really good at a lot of things.

So, I don't feel bad for myself. Well, I wonder what I would have become had he pushed me. I am really smart. Probably would have gone to law. Hate medicine. Well...who knows. Maybe I would have liked it. I like people. Psychiatry. Would have loved that.

So, now I have become the father I wish mine had been. I put everything into Darryl. I push him...but I hug him and tell him I am proud of him and when he gets better...he appreciates it and he appreciates the fact that I pushed him. By pushing I mean...I always make him practice..even at things he sucks at....because through practice...tomorrow he will be better. That is the lesson I want to instill in him.

Today you suck....tomorrow you will be awesome...through practice.

Nick has finally left. Thank fucking God. Nick...I love my son....I like you.

Date day

Isadora and I went on a date. Darryl went to hang out with our neighbors for the day. Deborah took Darryl for 6 hours. Kinda weird. For some reason she doesn't want Nik to hang out at our house. She wanted Darryl for 6 hours to play with Nick...so she didn't have to. Makes sense...but it would be nice to share babysitting duties. I like spending time with my son too. Deborah is trying to adopt Nik. Nik's mother is a crack addict. Deborah is a ready to retire postal worker.

We went to Arcodoro's for lunch. I had the Sardinian Gnocchetti with tomato sauce. God it was good. It is always good there. I want to become Isadora and I's date place. Although today's date cost $70. We were doing fine until we ordered desert and cappuccinos. That always sends the bill over the top.

We went to the posh mall across the street. We purchased alot $100 worth of Body shop products. God I love that place. I bought shaving cream (best shaving cream), body wash and massage balm.

We went back home and used the massage balm to warm up for sex. She loves massages as foreplay. She can't stand giving and recieving foreplay. She gave me a blow job a couple weeks back....Can't even classify it as a blow job...more like a....well actually it was technically...a blow job. She puffed her cheeks up and bobbed up and down. I couldn't feel a thing....there was no suction....no friction. She was literally trying to fill my dick up with air. No one wonder my scrotum is so bouyant!

I did more work out. I worked out with the kettle bell. I worked muscles that have been dormant for a very long time. Something tells me that I am going to have a hard time getting out of my chair tommorrow.

Family life going well

I got Isadora a whole bunch of foot products. They finally came. Actually they came really fast. The internet is incredible. She called me up all excited. She finally has excepted being treated like a Princess. She never liked my taste in clothes for women...she never liked going to spas. She is loving the whole focus on the foot thing.

• Massage
• Pedicure
• Henna

Last night, Darryl and I played t-ball. I started pitching to him. Wow...he is getting close to hitting it. With Darryl it is all about constant encouragement. The minute something crappy happens....he is done. I need to snap him out of it.

This blog seems to be really balancing my life out. Wish I had done this all last year. God I was sooo unbalanced. STRESSsss....STRESSsss...STRESSssss

I had to sit and talk with my crazy Lebanese neighbors.....WHAT IS IT WITH ARABS AND RELIGION!!!!

These are Christian arabs....THE GUY WON"T GET OFF THE SUBJECT!!!

Dude.....I am a third generation atheist!!! I don't care about religion...AT ALL!

Well...I have read the books...but for their moral teachings...inspiration. They all think that when they die...some divine being (Gabriel, Peter, God, Jesus, Allah, Mohammed) will personally come and get them.

I cannot relate at all....don't even want to get into it with them. Must be nice to have such strong convictions of our importance.

I really believe that we are really really really small....on the grand s

Image via Wikipedia

cheme of things. How small? The Universe is probably a bubble in some higher beings Coca Cola. Horton hears a who.

I realize that a meteor will hit the earth...a comet...a disease....a great war....the Sun will die...the universe will collapse. The works of William Shakespeare will disappear forever from reality.

Faith

That is all you have. There is no scientific proof for anything religious. Science pushes religion back.

I believe in a soul. But I believe it stays on Earth. And that is only Faith....we all have to believe in something.

If there is no point to our existence. Why not run around naked and travel the world.

Purchased Henna and Pedicure supplies

I, Jeff Allegi, am an amazing husband...most of the time. Still need to work on cleaning up after myself and complimenting Isadora. You don't think pretty girls need to know they are pretty....but apparently they do.

Well, I bought a WHOLE bunch of Henna and Toenail painting stuff. She is going to have the most incredible feet in the world. They are going to be my pride and joy. However, I don't know what the hell I am doing. Looks simple. For the henna I got, tracing paper for the design. Henna paste. Balm to preserve the henna tattoo. A light for my head (I usually give her a pedicure late at night). I also got gemstones and glitter gels.

For the toenail painting I got a toe ring. I got a glitter and gemstones and glue and cuticle sticks (not sure what the big deal about the "cuticles" is....check wikipedia. I got toenail polish pens.

This is going to be incredible!!!

THE INTERNET IS FUCKING INCREDIBLE!!!

There is nothing we cannot buy anymore. There is nothing we cannot learn!

Wants and needs

I, Jeff Allegi, need to focus. Focus on getting wealthy and being happy and ensuring that my wife and son are happy too.

How does one do this?

Isadora's wants and needs:

1. Attention via foot massages and compliments
   
2. Financial security
   

Darryl's wants and needs:

1. Attention via sports and academic practice
   
2. Financial security
3. Tutoring
4. Sibling
   

Jeff's wants and needs:

1. Become physically fit again. Have an awesome body
   
2. Financial freedom to do what I want
   
3. Challenging growth opportunities
   

A perfect life:

1. $20 million in the bank.
2. Quit job
3. Become President of the little league.
4. Travel
5. Hire tutors and sports coaches for Darryl
6. Hire a personal trainer for Isadora and I
7. Join the country club
8. Have a second child

How do you propose to get this?

1. Win the lottery
2. Write a best selling software
3. Become a speaker

Why these three?

1. Winning the lottery frees me up immediately
2. I can write software
3. I LOVE speaking and presenting!!!
   

First day back!

I might or might not be having a hard time getting back to work. Life is short. Vacations are short. Vacations are fun sans the major blow up between Isadora and I regarding the pergola. I think she feels bad about it. She definitely recognizes how upset I was.

I gave her a very long and extensive pedicure last night. Wrapped her feet in hot wet towels. Massaged her feet with 3 different Body Shop foot products. Soaked her feet in foot salts. Cut her toenails. Filed them...(need to learn how to do this). Applied expensive Christian Dior nail polish to them.....REALLY NEED TO LEARN HOW TO DO THIS! Her feet look like Darryl painted them....pretty funny. Damn stuff dries so fast...she don't get a chance to clean the edges before it has dried to her skin.

Maybe it will take off as a new trend.

Today, I need to meet with the new consultant and show him the software. Should be fun....I don't care.

I am going to start looking for a higher paying job. This job has no stress anymore...but it also has no chance for promotion.

Falling a sleep at the wheel.

All time favorite authors

So, I have stilled kept myself trapped in my room. I rode my exercise bike (500 calories) while watching a DVD (The Haunting of Molly Hartley....SUCKED!!!).

Read a 100 pages of Moneyball.....I love Michael Lewis. He is one of the my new favorite authors.

Here is a list of my favorite authors through time. Most of them I have stopped reading for the following reasons:

1. They stopped writing (Passed away)
2. They started writing a book a year
3. I have outgrown them
   

The criteria for making this list is that:

1. I have purchased and loved more than 1 of their books.
2. I would gladly give or advise someone to buy the author's books.
   

I have also marked an astericks by their names based on the impact they had on my life (5 stars means I lived for them, 1 star means I enjoyed them )

1. Judy Blume (1980-1982)
2. John D. Fitzgerald (1983-1985)
3. Don Pendleton(***)(1985-1987)
4. Stephen King(****)(1985-1987)
5. Michael Crichton(*****)(1987-2006)
6. Isaac Asimov(**)(1991-1995)
7. Anne Rice(*****)(1992-*)
8. David Suzuki(*****) (1992-1999)
   
9. Stephen Leacock(*****) (1992-1995)
   
10. Joseph J. Ellis(***) (1999-*)
    
11. Ron Chernow(****) (1999-*)
    
12. Elizabeth Gilbert(*****) (2008-*)
    
13. David Sedaris(***) 2008-*
    
14. Michael Lewis(*****) 2008-*
    

What is the point of hanging out with a wife that just wants to tear you down.

Isadora and I are spending the whole day apart. I went to Home Depot to see if they had any 6x6x12. They only had 6x6x16...which means I can't put it on top of my Highlander. Screw it. I will wait till they get more at the Lowes down the street.

But I am pissed at her.

What a jerk.

Sitting in my room browsing, reading and probably put in a DVD and ride my bike. Oh can't do that because my speakers are smoked.

What a fuckin bullshit day.

I should have bought the beer and gotten drunk.

Oh well time to work on the Blackberry application I guess.

What is the point of hanging out with a wife that just wants to tear you down.

I will build my pergola!!!!

Now I am the one that is pissed off. It all started when I told Isadora that I was going to move the bike down in the living room so that I could ride while watching TV. Rather than spend all my time on the internet...while watching TV.

I don't watch that much TV. But if I am browsing the internet at the same time. Then I tend to linger around the automaton maker longer.

SHE LOST IT! She went on for a half an hour of how I was cluttering up the living room.

THEN SHE GOT ONTO me about the Pergola AGAIN! She truley thinks I have no idea what I am doing and she keeps blowing up everytime I talk about initiating the project.

She came up with a 150 bullshit small tasks that should be completed before I build the Pergola. We have this giant vine that is hanging in the middle of our deck. You can't eat lunch or anything because there is a vine in the middle of the table!!

I sat quietly while she berated me and called me an idiot....

Finally my body had had enough and I went into full panic attack mode. I was lying on the couch paralyzed. It is the worst feeling. I hadn't had a chance to take my Lexapro yet...so I was empty on defenses. I waited until she went into the kitchen and then went upstairs.

When she realized I wasn't coming back down (Because I was too busy being paralyzed in my bed), she started doing the laundry so that she could have an excuse to come into the bedroom.

Where she berated me again!

Then I got desperate. She doesn't seem to get what it is like to have anxiety disorders. You want to escape. ALOT. I took my pillow and blanket and Moneyball book and hid in the walk in closet.

Darryl came looking for me. He couldn't find me. She knew I hadn't snuck out so she came upstairs and found me in the closet and started berating me again.

And then she asked me...."What can I do to get you out of this?"

I don't know FUCKHEAD...if I am lying in the corner of the closet what do you think you should do? What do you think I am telling you? GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!

Isadora is completely obtuse when it comes to reading a situation. She has no idea how to motivate anyone or make them feel good.

I blame the fact that she never did any athletics or team or group activity.

Finally she left with Darryl. I crawled out and went to Lowes to buy the wood for the Pergola. Stand up to her. She is going to try to mentally defeat you. Don't let her.

I had been paralyzed to buy the wood all week because I knew it would set her off.

When I got to Lowes...they were all out.

GOD BITCH!

I came home kissed Darryl and went to my bedroom.

She claims she hates this room because it is slanted. GOOD we will keep it slanted. She doesn't want to spend the money to straighten it. CHEAP ASS MOTHERFUCKER!

I need to find a job where I travel. The thought of spending the next 3 days with that psycho is too much.

She has a husband that is trying to build and repair things. Saving us money and increasing the value of the house. She has a husband that plays with his son. She has a husband that voluntarily gave up cable so he could spend more time with his family.

BITCH!

God, I am missing ESPN right now.

I am going to continue reading Moneyball by Michael Lewis. This guy is awesome. I love this book.

Isadora just stormed out of the house.

Isadora just stormed out of the house. She is going for another one her "long walks". She does this when she gets pissed at me. She gets pissed at me when I set about going about doing something that she does not want me to do. She would gladly prefer me to sit around and play on the internet all day then go actually do something. She insists that everyone else knows how to build a pergola...other than me. It is not rocket science.

Darryl wants to go outside and build...that will make mommy happy when she gets home.

Fucking crazy Italians. Reading Machiavelli gives insight into her country of origin. The whole country is like the Godfather movie.

I am a snob.

Today, I am just chilling out watching Taken and the Day the Earth Stood Still and reading the Prince.

Isadora and Darryl are over playing with Crissy, Lindsey and Ashley. Darryl's girlfriend is Ashley. She is really sweet and has the same temperament as Darryl. They both are performers and monkeys and love to scream and get wild.

Lindsey is a 3 year old Lesbian. She is sweet and shy but loves sports, playing with boys toys and wearing boys clothing. She wants to be Zac Efron when she grows up.

Darryl has spent the past two days watching his T-Ball video, HSM 1 and HSM 2. High School Musical. I like HSM3 the best.

Crissy is one of Isadora's better friends. I think they are best friends. Alot of Isadora's friends are weird parasites. They take advantage of her niceness. Crissy is normal with a normal husband and normal kids. They are a pleasure to be around. I really have to guide Isadora as to who her GOOD friends are...and who she should not be friends with. She listens to me a little...

She knows I am right.

I am a snob.

If you are part of my inner circle, you are a quality person with a quality family. No part of your life can be rotten or off track.

How to give a pedicure

Today, I am going to give Isadora a pedicure.

1. The first step in a pedicure is to clip or file the toenails. The nails should be filed straight across, rounded slightly at the corners conforming to the shape of the toe. You should never clip or file into the corners of the toenails as this could cause you to have ingrown nails.

2. Soak feet in a basin or foot bath of warm, soapy water until the water cools. This will allow the dry, calloused skin to soften. You can use a foot file, which can be bought at a beauty supply store

, to rub off the dry skin. Wet the foot file, apply soap and rub gently in a circular motion across all areas of the foot. Repeat on the other foot. Allow one foot to continue soaking while you work on the opposing foot.

3. Remove feet from the basin and pat dry with a towel. Use a cotton swab or an orangewood stick to apply a cuticle removing solution to the cuticle and under the free edge of each nail. Gently loosen the cuticle of each nail, keeping the cuticle moist with water or additional cuticle solution. Do not cut the cuticles, this can cause pain and infection. If you have any hangnails or loose pieces of skin around the nails, you may carefully trim them with cuticle trimmers or toenail clippers.

4. Wipe excess cuticle solvent off of feet with a damp towel. Massage each toe and foot with a thick foot cream or lotion. Allow lotion to penetrate feet for 5 minutes. For extra soften of extremely dry feet, wrap feet in a wet warm towel after you apply the foot cream. Wet your towel, ring out excess water, and heat the towel in the microwave for 30 or 40 seconds. Do not leave the towel unattended in the microwave.

5. Rinse both feet in a warm, soapy, basin of water. Scrub off any excess lotion or dry skin by using an exfoliating cream such as an apricot scrub. Rinse feet and dry them throughly.

6. Wipe each toenail with a polish remover to remove any residue of the lotion or exfoliant. Apply a clear, base coat of nail polish and allow it to dry completely. Then apply two coats of the nail color of your choice. Allow polish to dry.

7. Rub a light hand or foot lotion on feet, ankles and calves. .

Starting of vacation weekend!

So I am working on my pergola!! I have this giant vine that is taking over our back deck. I am going to build a pergola to:

1) Hold up the vine
2) Provide much needed shade for summer in our backyard
3) Something to do
4) Increase our house value

I started propagating this vine. I have about 6 shoots growing out of two pots right now. I love pergola's with giant vines covering the ceiling. They are soooo shady and cool.

I am also digging a giant hole. Well a deep hole. It is not very wide. But it is about 4 feet deep at this point. In Texas, the soil is CLAY about 1 inch down. I have a giant mound of clay next to the hole. Wish I was into pottery. This clay seems like some good shit.

Digging the hole is exercise and preparation for 2012. You have to bend down...get a scoop of clay and thrust it over your shoulder. My ass, back and thighs burn. It also gives you an excuse to exercise outdoors. Not into the running thing. I start to run...then I start to walk...and then I walk walk walk walk....and then I run...when I think I see a car of someone I know...then I walk walk walk.

Isadora is not very thrilled with the hole. But it is exercise so she lets me do it. Hope I don't hit any pipes. Came close.

Tonight, Darryl and I went to return the T-Ball equipment. Darryl wanted to go watch a game. They were having a Memorial weekend madness tournament for the older kids. Pretty cool. We got popcorn and lemonade and sat and watched a game that was 1-10. We were sitting with the parents of the team that had scored 1 point. Poor kids. But their uniforms were pretty cool.

Darryl has fallen asleep on the couch. His nest. I like that couch. He is starting to claim it a little too often now. We are going to need to get a third couch for me. He used to have his rocker. But he seems to have abandoned it. Now he is all about the blue couch which my sister gave to me. Little scumbag!! I am stuck on this stupid 10 year old futon that Isadora refuses to throw in the garbage.

The two of them really get attached to things. They NAME everything!! His scooters name is Skootery. The SUV's name is Salsa. My car is named Zoomer. My old car was named Naughty. He has a pig flashlight named Oinkers.