I am unhappy with my life.

I am unhappy with my life.

What are you unhappy about?

I am unhappy about my salary and what it cannot afford me. I am anxious about the future because I do not see my salary progressing very far. I am anxious about my career promotion prospects because I am very overqualified for my job and my manager is trying to keep me at a level because I am good at it.

I want two kids. I want to be physically in shape. I want to be emotionally secure.

What prevents you from all these things?

My company gives small raises...until you get a promotion. I don't see myself getting a promotion because others have time to make themselves look good while I do the work. Why should you do the work? Because if I don't...nobody will....and they will hire consultants to do the work.

What should you do?

I should look for another job. After I get my PMP, so that I can come in at the position I want.

Why do you want to stay?

I understand the business and the technology. I know all the users. I can take the TrekExpress to work. I live just down the highway. The company is well managed and in good financial shape. I don't need to travel.

What would make you leave on your own?

If someone offered me a management job at a $170,000 with travel/$130,000 without travel.

What are you happy about?

I am happy that I have the best son in the world. He truely is awesome. I wish he was a little more competitive but I will take him as is. He is much more perfect a son than I am a father. I am happy with my wife. She is a good mother. She is thin. She is pretty. She is smart. But she reduces herself. She is constantly overwhelmed. I wish she had more courage to realize that 99% of the people would not be able to do it better than she would. Whatever, she takes up, she gives 100%. Maybe that is what overwhelms her. She doesn't know how to give less than 100%.

What do you want?

I want to be appreciated for the job I do.

Do you appreciate others?

Some yes. Some no. Appreciating some people pisses me off because they screwed me last year.

Is it those people that you do not appreciate that do not appreciate you?

No one appreciates each other. Everyone listens for a little information and then fucks you with it. There are no friends.

Then you need to stop looking for external appreciation, no?

Yes.

But can you still appreciate them without wanting to recieve back or give them too much information?

Yes. I need to give them positive information about myself. I need to brag. Not tell them my problems. Tell them my triumphs.

What do you like in others?

People who are funny. People that you can trust and will try to give you good advice. People that are calm. People that smile. People that look content.

People that like me.

Are you any of these things?

I am funny. I don't screw people over. Although I am beginning to start. I drink too much coffee. I am complex and moody.

How do you correct these things?

Follow my daily mantra.....