I will build my pergola!!!!

Now I am the one that is pissed off. It all started when I told Isadora that I was going to move the bike down in the living room so that I could ride while watching TV. Rather than spend all my time on the internet...while watching TV.

I don't watch that much TV. But if I am browsing the internet at the same time. Then I tend to linger around the automaton maker longer.

SHE LOST IT! She went on for a half an hour of how I was cluttering up the living room.

THEN SHE GOT ONTO me about the Pergola AGAIN! She truley thinks I have no idea what I am doing and she keeps blowing up everytime I talk about initiating the project.

She came up with a 150 bullshit small tasks that should be completed before I build the Pergola. We have this giant vine that is hanging in the middle of our deck. You can't eat lunch or anything because there is a vine in the middle of the table!!

I sat quietly while she berated me and called me an idiot....

Finally my body had had enough and I went into full panic attack mode. I was lying on the couch paralyzed. It is the worst feeling. I hadn't had a chance to take my Lexapro yet...so I was empty on defenses. I waited until she went into the kitchen and then went upstairs.

When she realized I wasn't coming back down (Because I was too busy being paralyzed in my bed), she started doing the laundry so that she could have an excuse to come into the bedroom.

Where she berated me again!

Then I got desperate. She doesn't seem to get what it is like to have anxiety disorders. You want to escape. ALOT. I took my pillow and blanket and Moneyball book and hid in the walk in closet.

Darryl came looking for me. He couldn't find me. She knew I hadn't snuck out so she came upstairs and found me in the closet and started berating me again.

And then she asked me...."What can I do to get you out of this?"

I don't know FUCKHEAD...if I am lying in the corner of the closet what do you think you should do? What do you think I am telling you? GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!

Isadora is completely obtuse when it comes to reading a situation. She has no idea how to motivate anyone or make them feel good.

I blame the fact that she never did any athletics or team or group activity.

Finally she left with Darryl. I crawled out and went to Lowes to buy the wood for the Pergola. Stand up to her. She is going to try to mentally defeat you. Don't let her.

I had been paralyzed to buy the wood all week because I knew it would set her off.

When I got to Lowes...they were all out.

GOD BITCH!

I came home kissed Darryl and went to my bedroom.

She claims she hates this room because it is slanted. GOOD we will keep it slanted. She doesn't want to spend the money to straighten it. CHEAP ASS MOTHERFUCKER!

I need to find a job where I travel. The thought of spending the next 3 days with that psycho is too much.

She has a husband that is trying to build and repair things. Saving us money and increasing the value of the house. She has a husband that plays with his son. She has a husband that voluntarily gave up cable so he could spend more time with his family.

BITCH!

God, I am missing ESPN right now.

I am going to continue reading Moneyball by Michael Lewis. This guy is awesome. I love this book.