Today you suck....tomorrow you will be awesome...through practice.

Isadora and I had a blow up yesterday. Man, she completely:

1) Hates the fact that I exercise.
2) Wants me to die young.
3) Loves to find excuses to just hammer me into the ground until I snap.

I wish she would just say it once and be done with it. I do a lot more things that she asks for then she does that I ask for. Yes, the making vegetables and fruits and nuts in the morning is nice. However, she refuses to get me up early. I end up having to stay at work until 6:00 pm. I don't think she wants me home. She loves hogging Darryl. I have to demand that she stay home. Darryl is really enjoyable to be around.

Today, we are looking after Nick. The African American semi-orphan. Semi-Orphan because his mother is a prostitute for drugs kinda gal. He lives with an elderly black postal supervisor and her defunct teacher husband.

Nick has been incredibly annoying. I think he is desperate for a male role model. He seems to have chosen me. He seems to be in a constant competition with Darryl for my approval. He points out EVERYTHING that Darryl does wrong. Darryl is a hugger and hand holder, which drives Nick nuts.

Today, he wouldn't stop declaring that he was better than Darryl at EVERYTHING. I ate my rice before Darryl. I sat down on the couch better than Darryl. I looked out the window better than Darryl. It was getting absurd. Finally, I had enough. We went to swim at the pool. Little did I know that Nick was mortally terrified of the water. He whined and cried the entire swimming lesson. 45 minutes of whining and crying, while Darryl swam circles around us. Nick did good in the swimming lesson but he learned that Darryl can do things really well too.

He thanked me at the end of the swimming lesson. Funny about kids. They whine and scream the whole time you are teaching them something. But they appreciate it. They appreciate you pushing them. My father always gave up on me.

"If you want it..you will go get it." He used to say.

Well, Dad, that is a load of bullshit because how is 5 year old supposed to figure out how to swim, play football, baseball, soccer, hockey by himself. All he did was spend the weekends and evenings watching sports or listening to music. He never taught me shit. Even though he was really good at a lot of things.

So, I don't feel bad for myself. Well, I wonder what I would have become had he pushed me. I am really smart. Probably would have gone to law. Hate medicine. Well...who knows. Maybe I would have liked it. I like people. Psychiatry. Would have loved that.

So, now I have become the father I wish mine had been. I put everything into Darryl. I push him...but I hug him and tell him I am proud of him and when he gets better...he appreciates it and he appreciates the fact that I pushed him. By pushing I mean...I always make him practice..even at things he sucks at....because through practice...tomorrow he will be better. That is the lesson I want to instill in him.

Today you suck....tomorrow you will be awesome...through practice.

Nick has finally left. Thank fucking God. Nick...I love my son....I like you.