Genes I would like to have

Well today was an asshole waste of time. Sorry for the coarse language. Just frustrated and caffeinated. A great drug would be one that cleaned out all the caffeine in your system. You drink it and it takes all the jitters away.

Know what I hate. Taking a really messy crap...and then discovering no toilet paper. At what point will evolution cause a mutation that triggers homo sapiens to look for toilet paper before they take a crap.

I hate messy craps. No amount of toilet paper will clean your ass up to prevent skid marks and your boxers from sticking to the deep recesses of your crack. I would love to toilet seat where after you take a really messy crap, you can fasten yourself to the toilet seat with a seat belt and then a super jet of water shoots up your ass. You should also be given a joy ticket to control the jet stream and red button to turn the stream off and on.

The problem will be if you aim the jet up your back and you spray crap water up the back of your shirt.