Hemroids!!!

ok I have hemroids. I think I have always had hemroids..but now I REALLY have hemroids and it hurts.

We did BMX on Wednesday which probably didn't help. Then Darryl and I took a shower that night because of all the sweat. The next morning I didn't take a shower because I figured I had already taken one and was late.

...this appears to be where I went really wrong.

Now my hemroids are inflamed and infected. Sitting at this desk is killing me. I keep squeezing my sphincter and a shot of mind numbing pain shoots up me. I feel miserable. I want to BMX tonight because it is great excercise and I really don't want to sit on the bleachers. If my ass hurts this badly on an ergonomic chair. I can't imagine how it will feel on ply wood bleachers.

The good thing about BMXing is that you don't sit on your seat. You stand the whole time. The bike is tiny. 20 inch wheels. Ofcourse my bum cheeks will be going up and down...probably creating friction...where I really don't want any friction. Maybe Isadora bought me some hemroid cream. Full strength/Ass numbing/instantaneous relief.

Man..I don't even want to drive out there. I want to lie on my belly with my sphincter in the air...relaxing like it just don't care.

We had a director that died of a staph infection after hemroid surgery. Doctors kept sending him home. When he came in for the final time...they told him he had 24 hours to live. Kiss his wife and kids good bye. Game over. He was 54 years old.

I want to remind everyone that it sucks to be fat and overweight and old. It sucks to be falling apart and getting things that you saw in the commercials but never thought it would happen to you.

...can't wait until the erectile dysfunction.

In my teens and twenties I would have laughed about all this. 39 and I am living it.

There is nothing more miserable....well I am sure there is...but for me misery is coming to work with inflammed hemroids and watching the hours pass as you cannot think straight.

I am sure it would be more hell if I was a motorcycle cop or a rode a unicycle in a circus. That would be a long day.

BMXing

Hi Me,

Funny this internet thing. So much information. You can really stay hidden. Somewhere on the internet someone is confessing to killing JFK and MLK and we will never know.

Last night I did BMX practice with Darryl. It was soo much fun but it was killer. It was better than spending the night in front of the TV. Which is what we would normally do.

Darryl thinks that he needs to stay with me. He doesn't. I take a break in between each lap. The thing with BMXing for adults just trying out is that it hurts. Not the muscles but the lungs. You cannot go slow in BMX. You won't get up the hills. When you don't get up the hills, gravity brings you and your bike back down to sea level. Generally, you and your bike come back down the hill together and end up in a twister position. Fortunately, at the beginning they have baby hills, so I would just go down the first path and then vere off the track to the right, while everyone else went left around the turn and onto the second portion of the track. The second portion of the track has bigger hills. The third portion has many mini bumps that look easy but can cause you to lose control. The fourth portion of the track start with a very vertical hill. You literally go up the hill with your tire infront of your face. Your wheel and head are both pointed to the sky. It took me 1 month to be able to go around the whole track. Now I don't know how I was never able to do it. But I am glad that I took it slowly.

39 year old men that fall on BMX tracks don't get up very fast. The dirt is packed very tightly. It is more like riding and falling on sand paper. If there is any skin exposed when you are falling...it will not be there by the time you stop skidding.

Hopefully we will have BMX practice tonight. I love it. Do I love it. Yeah..it is not like baseball where you stand in the field for hours. I like tennis more. The education level of the parents and participants is not very high. Some of the discussions can be a little black and white....I don't want national health care and man I paid an arm and a leg to repair my sons collarbone even though I have insurance. But at least I am free to choose what insurance company will screw me. Younger kids don't get hurt but older kids do. Last night one of the teenagers went over his handle bars and face first into the side of a hill. The chin on his helmet cracked..disintegrated and cut up his chin. Being cut with jagged hard plastic cannot feel good.

I am blogging while working. Friggin desktop guys are taking forever to reimage my laptop. They are sooo slow. They are a little annoying. If you are not a pretty girl on the trading or accounting group it takes forever to get their attention. Meanwhile the pretty girls occupy their time by asking them the most trivial questions. It has to be great to be a pretty girl. Unless you are an introverted pretty girl...that would suck!