I am back again....

Ok...a month later...where am I at:


Ok, I am restating my goals so that I can accomplish something by being focused.

- Study to get my PMP, by building a PMP website

• zero progress

- Create an energy website to prove that I know energy

• zero progress

- Apply for jobs at my company

• Applied for 2 jobs...got turned down for each

- Once I have PMP, apply for management positions outside of my company

• Might need to move now.
  

- Exercise each lunchtime.

I got sick for a month!!! Learned to use mucus thinning medicine to reduce the coughing and let my lungs heal.

I have gotten back into it.

- Stay away from Coney Island...except Fridays

Done...got on the 6 week cure for the middle aged middle that makes me cut out bread...the only way to hold in all the hot dog toppings...is the bun.

- Eat a salad for dinner

Done

- Teach Darryl math

oops....lot of work all of a sudden and Baseball and rain and soccer

- Teach Darryl to read

oops....lot of work all of a sudden and Baseball and rain and soccer

- Team Darryl to hit a thrown ball
...
oops....lot of work all of a sudden and Baseball and rain and soccer

- Give Isadora pedicures

oops....lot of work all of a sudden and Baseball and rain and soccer
- Give Isadora compliments

- Meditate 30 minutes a day.

Weekend events

Life is getting uncomfortable right now. This sucks. I really can't stand Fugly and Snake. Just need to let go.

Wife is going crazy about a Facebook friend that I don't talk to anymore....getting old. Wife is going crazy with money...getting old. Haven't been giving her pedicures. Spending more time alone with Darryl. The bright spot in my life.

Exercising at lunch and at home. Got in late this morning. Depressed...hard to get out of bed when I get depressed. I guess hard for anyone. Wish I could work from home. Lots of windows. No one to bother you. No sense of despair.

Took Darryl to the dirt bike path where they have all kinds of hills> He loved it. It was nice and peaceful just hanging out with him. Ofcourse now Samir and Angie want to go. Blah. Can't stand those kids. Fuckin' fruitloops. Even their cousin says that all the relatives can't stand them either. The relatives live around the corner and never come over. Pretty funny. I let Angie in the house for 5 minutes to get water. She runs into the living room to pet our crazy giant cat Sam. Then she comes into the kitchen yelling at me telling me that Sam scratched her. No shit, bitch! I told you not to touch him. We have always told you not to touch him. And this is his fuckin' house. Don't touch him in his house. This is your fault not his.

God they are so fuckin' incomprehensibley idiotic. I can't understand a fuck' word they are saying half the time. And they have no idea how to behave in someone's house or with someone's things. Isadora lets them play with my home excercise stuff. The next thing you know they are throwing it into the trees so that they can swing from it. Samir starts wacking his cousin with a foam baseball bat which hurts. He then grabs one of our hoses and starts spraying her with it.

Took him to get our SUV washed inside and out. He loved it. Wife did not. Claims she could have done it herself...was waiting for Darryl to go back to school. BS. Darryl is not an impediment to getting the SUV washed. He loves washing cars and trucks.

Picked up Princess necklace charm for Isadora. Really nice. Got a truck magazine for Darryl. He loves it. What a man's man.

What's Your Ten-Word Biography?

* I am passing through life aggressively without any direction.
* The goals I accomplish probably will not amount to anything.
* I wish I was Benjamin Button....something to live for.
* I live for my son. I live for my wife.
* If I don't change, I shall die pointless.
* I have worked to make the human race more efficient.
* I was a lifeguard, coach, software tester, programmer, project manager.
* I have been many things but nothing I actually wanted to do.
* I am to afraid to go my path.
* I was counseled to get a job and remain secure.
* I got a job and did everything to remain secure.
* I have provided financial and emotional security to family.
* I groomed myself to be a family man, which I am.

Heat exhaustion

Image via Wikipedia

Woke up this morning. Did some work. Went outside and started digging a whole for the pergola. Performed some squats, shoulder presses and lunges with my olympic bar outside in the back.

Heat Exhaustion.

I could sleep all day, now.

I made a raspberry, almond, honey and water smoothie. Drank two of them. They filled me up but I ate all the pork dumplings at lunch. Followed by an ice cream sandwich.

Went to Starbucks to get a coffee for myself, Darryl and Isadora. I got Darryl hot chocolate. We made the whole caffeine/Darryl mistake once. It was like the whole world slowed down and Darryl was on his own frequency. He was literally vibrating without moving. It was like watching the young girl in "the Ring".

I finished the movie "Miracle at St. Anna". Great movie!! Five stars. Great story. Great characters. Great scenes. Perfect movie.

Le Weekend

Image via Wikipedia

This weekend, I spent the WHOLE weekend dealing with Isadora who was freaking out about letters from the Home Depot Association! That's right, the HOME DEPOT ASSOCIATION! Not the Home Owner's Association!

I would love to see if there is any relationship between the rise of HOA's and the rise of HD.

We had to repair a fence that was tilting...fine. We had to replace a board....that I really doubt needed changing. When you talk to neighbors...EVERYONE has something to do. Where are they buying supplies to do them...LOWES and HOME DEPOT. I mean everyone had something to do.

Now they want us to paint our door a different color than the green that was there when we bought it. Gee wonder where we go buy the paint.....?

I researched it...couldn't find anything concrete....I am sure some relationship is there. They make it sound like if the HOA went away....YAHOO! LET"S PAINT OUR HOUSES PINK WITH PURPLE POKADOTS AND PARK OUR CARS ON THE LAWN AND PUT STATUES OF FAGGITS FUCKING!

Lived in Canada for 27 years. Everyone just did their thing. Everyone kept their appearances up by themselves.

Needless to say...I got nothing done on the pergola.

Oh yeah! Took Darryl and I 10 minutes to measure a perfect 10x10 foot square. Took Isadora and I 2 hours to not even come close. Everytime I would measure it was never the same. I think she kept moving the measuring tape to a different place when we were taking the measurements.

She has some serious unconscious issues going on. When she doesn't want something done...She volunteers to help and then turns into a complete moron.

"Stand over there please."

"Where"

"There"

"Where...tell me where!"

"Isadora look up at my fuckin' hand and you will see where I am pointing to!"

"You are a jerk!"

"I am pointing and you are looking at the ground!"

She then went to do her "own thing" which was cutting the grass on the side of the house.

SNIP

"I think I cut the air conditioning wire...."

Sure enough...she did. In her defence, the wire was a dark brown and looked like a vine buried in the grass.

One of the T-Ball parents is an A/C guy. He came over and put the wire back together in 5 minutes.

People you should know on a personal basis or be friends with in your life:

- A lawyer (Derek)
- An accountant
- A policeman
- An A/C repair man (Scott)
- A doctor (Manish)
- Movers (Jason and Scott)

My original plans were to:

1) Build a pergola
2) Give Isadora a pedicure
3) Apply a Henna tatoo to Isadora

Try again next weekend!

My pergola

Image via Wikipedia

Today, I put up the posts for MY pergola. I have gone through so much crap...no is allowed in the pergola but me. I am going to charge everyone $20 to have shade in the summer. The vines are going to be awesome!

First I have to mow the lawn...grumble grumble

Looks like we are going to go swimming too.

First day back!

I might or might not be having a hard time getting back to work. Life is short. Vacations are short. Vacations are fun sans the major blow up between Isadora and I regarding the pergola. I think she feels bad about it. She definitely recognizes how upset I was.

I gave her a very long and extensive pedicure last night. Wrapped her feet in hot wet towels. Massaged her feet with 3 different Body Shop foot products. Soaked her feet in foot salts. Cut her toenails. Filed them...(need to learn how to do this). Applied expensive Christian Dior nail polish to them.....REALLY NEED TO LEARN HOW TO DO THIS! Her feet look like Darryl painted them....pretty funny. Damn stuff dries so fast...she don't get a chance to clean the edges before it has dried to her skin.

Maybe it will take off as a new trend.

Today, I need to meet with the new consultant and show him the software. Should be fun....I don't care.

I am going to start looking for a higher paying job. This job has no stress anymore...but it also has no chance for promotion.

Falling a sleep at the wheel.

What is the point of hanging out with a wife that just wants to tear you down.

Isadora and I are spending the whole day apart. I went to Home Depot to see if they had any 6x6x12. They only had 6x6x16...which means I can't put it on top of my Highlander. Screw it. I will wait till they get more at the Lowes down the street.

But I am pissed at her.

What a jerk.

Sitting in my room browsing, reading and probably put in a DVD and ride my bike. Oh can't do that because my speakers are smoked.

What a fuckin bullshit day.

I should have bought the beer and gotten drunk.

Oh well time to work on the Blackberry application I guess.

What is the point of hanging out with a wife that just wants to tear you down.

I will build my pergola!!!!

Now I am the one that is pissed off. It all started when I told Isadora that I was going to move the bike down in the living room so that I could ride while watching TV. Rather than spend all my time on the internet...while watching TV.

I don't watch that much TV. But if I am browsing the internet at the same time. Then I tend to linger around the automaton maker longer.

SHE LOST IT! She went on for a half an hour of how I was cluttering up the living room.

THEN SHE GOT ONTO me about the Pergola AGAIN! She truley thinks I have no idea what I am doing and she keeps blowing up everytime I talk about initiating the project.

She came up with a 150 bullshit small tasks that should be completed before I build the Pergola. We have this giant vine that is hanging in the middle of our deck. You can't eat lunch or anything because there is a vine in the middle of the table!!

I sat quietly while she berated me and called me an idiot....

Finally my body had had enough and I went into full panic attack mode. I was lying on the couch paralyzed. It is the worst feeling. I hadn't had a chance to take my Lexapro yet...so I was empty on defenses. I waited until she went into the kitchen and then went upstairs.

When she realized I wasn't coming back down (Because I was too busy being paralyzed in my bed), she started doing the laundry so that she could have an excuse to come into the bedroom.

Where she berated me again!

Then I got desperate. She doesn't seem to get what it is like to have anxiety disorders. You want to escape. ALOT. I took my pillow and blanket and Moneyball book and hid in the walk in closet.

Darryl came looking for me. He couldn't find me. She knew I hadn't snuck out so she came upstairs and found me in the closet and started berating me again.

And then she asked me...."What can I do to get you out of this?"

I don't know FUCKHEAD...if I am lying in the corner of the closet what do you think you should do? What do you think I am telling you? GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!

Isadora is completely obtuse when it comes to reading a situation. She has no idea how to motivate anyone or make them feel good.

I blame the fact that she never did any athletics or team or group activity.

Finally she left with Darryl. I crawled out and went to Lowes to buy the wood for the Pergola. Stand up to her. She is going to try to mentally defeat you. Don't let her.

I had been paralyzed to buy the wood all week because I knew it would set her off.

When I got to Lowes...they were all out.

GOD BITCH!

I came home kissed Darryl and went to my bedroom.

She claims she hates this room because it is slanted. GOOD we will keep it slanted. She doesn't want to spend the money to straighten it. CHEAP ASS MOTHERFUCKER!

I need to find a job where I travel. The thought of spending the next 3 days with that psycho is too much.

She has a husband that is trying to build and repair things. Saving us money and increasing the value of the house. She has a husband that plays with his son. She has a husband that voluntarily gave up cable so he could spend more time with his family.

BITCH!

God, I am missing ESPN right now.

I am going to continue reading Moneyball by Michael Lewis. This guy is awesome. I love this book.

Starting of vacation weekend!

So I am working on my pergola!! I have this giant vine that is taking over our back deck. I am going to build a pergola to:

1) Hold up the vine
2) Provide much needed shade for summer in our backyard
3) Something to do
4) Increase our house value

I started propagating this vine. I have about 6 shoots growing out of two pots right now. I love pergola's with giant vines covering the ceiling. They are soooo shady and cool.

I am also digging a giant hole. Well a deep hole. It is not very wide. But it is about 4 feet deep at this point. In Texas, the soil is CLAY about 1 inch down. I have a giant mound of clay next to the hole. Wish I was into pottery. This clay seems like some good shit.

Digging the hole is exercise and preparation for 2012. You have to bend down...get a scoop of clay and thrust it over your shoulder. My ass, back and thighs burn. It also gives you an excuse to exercise outdoors. Not into the running thing. I start to run...then I start to walk...and then I walk walk walk walk....and then I run...when I think I see a car of someone I know...then I walk walk walk.

Isadora is not very thrilled with the hole. But it is exercise so she lets me do it. Hope I don't hit any pipes. Came close.

Tonight, Darryl and I went to return the T-Ball equipment. Darryl wanted to go watch a game. They were having a Memorial weekend madness tournament for the older kids. Pretty cool. We got popcorn and lemonade and sat and watched a game that was 1-10. We were sitting with the parents of the team that had scored 1 point. Poor kids. But their uniforms were pretty cool.

Darryl has fallen asleep on the couch. His nest. I like that couch. He is starting to claim it a little too often now. We are going to need to get a third couch for me. He used to have his rocker. But he seems to have abandoned it. Now he is all about the blue couch which my sister gave to me. Little scumbag!! I am stuck on this stupid 10 year old futon that Isadora refuses to throw in the garbage.

The two of them really get attached to things. They NAME everything!! His scooters name is Skootery. The SUV's name is Salsa. My car is named Zoomer. My old car was named Naughty. He has a pig flashlight named Oinkers.

Yesterday's activities.

Went to Star Trek last night. IMAX version. It was awesome! Bones McCoy was awesome! He was so dead on it was hilarious.

I must say this...they love bending the space/time continuum in Star Trek these days. Oh here we go again...the past becomes the future and the future becomes the past.

Darryl sat through the whole thing! So proud! At first he covered his ears and closed his eyes when the music got loud, but as the movie proceeded he became more relaxed. It is REALLY LOUD MOVIE. Which is awesome!

Isadora, ofcourse, fell asleep. Pissed off the Klingon's behind her with snoring. They wanted to put a tribble in her mouth.

Bought another Texas Lilac. I am planting an entire wall of Texas Lilacs around our front garden. I love those purple flowers.

Darryl planted watermelon seeds and snow peas. Now he has to wait 2 months. I feel like hiding the pots for two months just so he won't get obsessed and declare that the seeds must be broken!

We went to Bass Pro Shop to buy him a toy gun. He was amazed with all the dead animals. "Boy they sure do kill alot of stuff here. This store is all about killing things!". He saw a manican "Did they kill her? Are they allowed to do that?". I think he was getting nervous and wanted to leave.

We went outside where they were having free fishing promo in their man made stocked river. Darryl had to do it. It looked so picturesque...Father's with their children fishing. Darryl lasted 5 minutes and was ready to go. Unless you can catch a fish in 5 minutes...forget...only children that need hormone replacement therapy would have the patience to do this sport.

hi

Le Goals pour today,

1. I will finish my presentation for tonight.
2. I will work on my resume.
   
3. I will finish my trade templates.

Last night we had Mom's birthday at Burning Pear. Food SUCKED! I ordered Medium Rare Mesquite Prime Rib. I got a MESQUITE SATURATED PORK CHOP! I like Mesquite as much as the next guy....but too much of a good thing is bad. I might as well have been chewing on the wood chips. I could swear they served me a pork chop. The tres leche was saturated in whiskey! Don't fuck with the tres leche. Tres leche needs no fanciness. It is a perfect desert as is! Same with creme brulee and flan! Don't touch them. Make them and then serve them. Don't infuse them with coffee, orange, chocolate or whiskey. Make and serve. The garlic mashpotatoes were soooo salty.

The Shiraz wine was good though.

Gordon Ramsey....this is a Kitchen Nightmare!

Darryl and Grandpa played 20 questions with everyone. Darryl was cute. He would stare at anything he chose. We each had to give one hint. His were over the top.

"I am thinking of something that is made of glass and sitting on Grandpa's face!"

No dinner at Sister's tonight

Sister got called into work. No dinner at her place tonight for Mom's birthday. It seemed like she was going to stay home and cook up a storm. It sounded really delicious. We are going out to our usual spot. Burning Pear. Ok restaurant. Not one of my favorites for dinner. Breakfast is AWESOME! Best in Fort Bend. The chef puts beans in his Gumbo roux.....geeeahhhh!

Today has been a support day. Running around like a maniac.

My birthday!!

Oh yeah, it is my birthday! Happy birthday to me. Gotta think of a way to celebrate....

I hate birthdays at this point. I don't think I ever did like birthdays. Unless it was going to be a party with girls.

Now it is just a reminder that I went down a path...and really didn't assert myself to go down the path I wanted.

Took the easy path. Got the house, got the cars, got the family, got the corporate job. The Good man.

....Wonder when my midlife crisis is going to come along. I can't really afford it.

My bedroom gets another toy!

Family got me a sit down exercise bike. Haven't been home to see it. Isadora is pissed because it takes up a lot of room. I think she is just jealous. I am going to put it in the bedroom. She hates our bedroom because supposedly it is slanted. She can't stand it.

Which means I get to spend all my time alone in there. I LOVE SLEEPING ALONE IN BED. SPREADOUT! Isadora and Darryl like to pin themselves against me to absorb heat. I end up sleeping on the very edge of the bed. Plus I like wind down time in bed. I like to read a little and then go to bed. Isadora likes to go to bed, NOW!

I need to move our old TV (33 inch) up to my bedroom, so I can watch and pedal. Or read and pedal.

Part of the problem I see is that the room can get hot. And it is carpeted. I hate sweating on carpeted floors. Maybe I will install gym padding on the bedroom floor! The ULTIMATE MALE ROOM!

- KING SIZE BED
- FIREPLACE
- TELEVISION
- BATHROOM
- EXCERCISE EQUIPMENT
- LAPTOP

Mother's day

Today we went over to my sister's house to visit my sister, brotherinlawtobe, mother and father to celebrate Mother's day and my birthday. My parents suck at celebrating for some reason. Not just a little alot. I drank wine beer and coffee and Chinese food. I will be farting (also took some colon cleansing pills) really loudly tonight.

Darryl is throwing really great! He is so accurate. He is starting to put some speed in the ball. The ball is making a "whop!" sound when it hits my glove.

I am going to ride his ass to success. I don't want him to become like me. How is he supposed to be better than you when you are his example? Same reason NFL players are better than their coaches. Think of your child as an athlete and you are the coach.

No one wanted to come over to our house, because we got rid of the cable. Oops. My family is too addicted to TV. Rather than sitting watching TV, I am blogging. Expressing myself, capturing my life, reflecting. Fuck this laptop is hot on my lap.

Fred and Ted are stinky. Well Fred is. He has a giant labrador retriever head on a jack russel terrier. Fuckin' wierd looking dog.

I filled up my giant hole in the backyard with water. Try to loosen the clay. The clay that was exposed after my last dig turned to rock. it was impossible to dig through. Especially with Darryl wanting to help.

Life without cable

Darryl is watching Curious George. I am blogging and browsing. Going to see the Astros with my father and brother-in-law-to-be tonight. Darryl and Isadora are going to Evan's birthday at Bounce U.

We are all moving forward without 200 channels. It is a miracle. People should try it. You can always order it back.

Here is another thing we learned about dealing with Comcast.

If you phone because your cable is out, they will send a repairman in 2 weeks at the earliest. If you tell them you want to cancel your cable, they will send a repairman the very next morning to take back your cable box!!!

So....next time you are having problems with your cable...cancel your cable....and when the repair guy shows up...tell him it was a huge misunderstanding and while he is here can he restore your cable television!!

I should charge money for that secret.

Strange day

Today was a weird day. I started off working on my laptop. Then we all moved to the kitchen. I continued working while Isador and Darryl argued about what Darryl should write on his preschool Valentine's day cards. Who would have thought that preschool social dynamics were so complex.

"I can't write that about Linda because she likes David but she is always trying to kiss Scott to make David jealous."

Then Isadora started speaking to Darryl in French to help him learn. This drove me crazy because I couldn't focus while she spoke French. When I told her that it was bothering me...she had got really upset, because she takes pride in her ability to speak French. This wasn't the point. The point was that it was distracting me because she was over dramatizing every syllable.

"Darryl ET tu Bieeeeeeeennnnnnuh?"

So we didn't talk for a couple of hours because I am sick of her losing it every time I complain about something she is doing. However, she is ALWAYS pointing out my faults and I work on them.

I finally got Darryl to change into sweatpants and a t-shirt so that we could go practice T-Ball. We went outside and every kid on the street was out playing in their driveway.

There are two feuding Palestinian families with children Darryl's age. I pulled a chair to the end of the lawn and read a book (Supercrunchers), while Darryl went in between the two feuding factions. Our drive way was the border by which the children were not allowed to go past.

Don't get me wrong. One set of the Palestinian parents are cool and very nice. The other set are friggin' weird and annoying. The wife is agoraphobic, very clingy and wears lingerie all day even when Isadora goes over. She also weighs 250 lbs. Oy. The husband has an accounting business where he works at home. He spends all day on the cell phone in his front patio screaming into the phone.

The wife decided to pull the kids and Darryl into her house. This would settle Darryl's allegiance.

Isadora and I had our spat and then went to the new HEB. Love that store. If it ever goes public, I am so buying stock in it. We spent $300. Isadora is upset. I bought a total body cleansing system and Acai berry juice. Oprah diet. Cost about $100 with the flax seed oil too...and a spray that improves male libido. This Lexapro...I can go for two weeks without even masturbating. Before I couldn't go a day.

Right now I am watching "The Cheetah Girls movie" while Darryl, Noora and Faris play. Everytime I try to change the channel, Darryl complains that he was watching it. Noora and Faris cannot speak english. Noora is going to kindergarten next year with Darryl. SHE IS SCREWED. They speak Arabic to her all day at home. She doesn't get to go out much because her mother is agoraphobic.

Getting in early and winning the lottery

I got in early today. 4:30 am. Yay me. When the bedroom is hot, I cannot sleep. I also wanted to get back on a schedule where I was coming in early and leaving early to see Darryl and Isadora. As of now, I was coming in at 8:30 and getting home at 7:30.

Darryl stayed up and watched the Fringe with us last night. It was the one where people turned into a porcupine monster. He was intrigued. He asked a lot of questions. I tried to explain viruses and DNA to him. He stared at me.

Sure enough, Isadora had to sleep with him all night.

Well the database is down. I can't do a damn thing. That is the problem with coming in this early. Everything bad in IT happens at night. So now I am sitting here waiting for people to arrive so that I can get someone to get the database back up.

No one won the lottery last night. It is now up to $40 million. I will go home with $20 million. Wow. I am going to win $20 million on Friday. I am going to drive like crazy to the lottery headquarters and cash that check as soon as possible. Then I am going to:

1) Join the country club
2) Get a kickass personal trainer
3) Read books
4) Plan a trip with Isadora to Italy this summer
5) Sell our house and buy a house in nicer development
6) Move the cats to the new house
7) Find a house sitter for the summer
8) Work on Darryl's T-Ball
9) Get Isadora pregnant

Letter to a retiring professor

Well I didn't maintain my 4 O'clock ritual. But I did get in at 6:30. I went to bed at 8:00 and snuggled with Isadora and Darryl. I helped Isadora compose a letter to her retiring graduate thesis advisor. Isadora has a Master's in Mycology. In the letter I wrote about how she met me in his class. She was the lab assistant. I was the student. I wrote about how we now have a wonderful son. I wrote about how he sent us to Puerto Rico for a Mycology conference and when I got back I was so in awe of the Carribean that I thought the Gulf of Mexico must be the next best thing so I applied for a job that would take me there. I wrote about how much we enjoyed his class and what a great teacher he was. He was funny, entertaining and knew his stuff. Most professors know their stuff and can't wait to get out of class.

Note to self: Gulf of Mexico != Carribean - Who knew Cuba made such a difference. No wonder everyone in Florida is pissed off with the place.

Isadora's original letter was very professional and grammatically correct. It read like a press release. She didn't want to be too sappy. Are you going to hang onto a press release or a sappy letter where the person gushes on about what an influence they had on your life.