Speak Kindly to Others

Speak Kindly to Others

Step1

Kind words create beauty Speaking unkindly means we use unkind words at another's expense, we ridicule, belittle, humiliate, shame, criticize, judge harshly, tear them down and degrade them.

But kind words bless, comfort, nurture, lift up, inspire, motivate, encourage, and show love and caring to others.

A wise spiritual leader once said to ask yourself three things before speaking:
Are these words true?
Are they kind?
Are they needful?

Step2

To speak kindly to others is often more widely practised than speaking kindly to yourself, and yet that is important too. Your self-talk should be positive and life-affirming. Often we aren't even aware of how negatively we speak to others, or to ourselves, unless someone points it out to us. So awareness is the first step. Become aware of how unkind your words sometimes are, both to yourself and to others, and vow to change them to more positive ones in the future.

Step3

Most of us would be horrified if we could record our own self-talk for a day or so. We call ourselves names, like stupid or dummy, we judge and criticize ourselves, we sneer and belittle aspects of ourselves, almost from the time we wake up until the time we fall asleep. Think about that for a moment, and imagine someone else doing that to you. Constant unkind words, spoken to you, about you, all day long, day after day, year after year. It's bound to affect you in ways you're not even aware of. Again, become more conscious of your words and thoughts. I'm repeating this step because it's so important.

Step4

Kindness and beauty Whenever you catch yourself speaking unkindly to someone, or to yourself, take note. Then, if possible, make a positive statement immediately.

For example, suppose you call yourself a dummy for being late for work for the second time this month. Stop, and tell yourself that you are doing the best you can, and that you will figure out ways in the future to make sure you are always on time for work.

Step5

Kind words make people happy Make an effort to speak kindly to someone at least once a day. Do the same for yourself. Point out what a good job someone did on a project at work, or praise your child for their good study habits, or compliment a waitress on her excellent customer service for example.

Read books about kindness and self-talk so that you can become more aware of kindness, and how kind words affect people.